You're not here and it's my fault. I pushed you away and hurt you. You had enough of it, so you leave. I thought that i would be fine without you. But i really am not. Other people might see that I'm okay. But they're wrong. I wear a mask every day in my life. Telling and selling to people that I'm okay. I really am okay. And when I'm alone, I take it off. I could see my reflection. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of fighting the urges to cut myself deep. Or even hang me. I thought that I'm getting better. Silly me, thinking that I'll be okay. Every day I keep wondering if I could turn back time. How I wish I never pushed you away from me when I'm not okay.
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Showing posts from January, 2023