You're not here and it's my fault.

I pushed you away and hurt you.

You had enough of it, so you leave.

I thought that i would be fine without you.

But i really am not.

Other people might see that I'm okay.

But they're wrong.

I wear a mask every day in my life.

Telling and selling to people that I'm okay.

I really am okay.

And when I'm alone, I take it off.

I could see my reflection.

I'm tired of myself.

I'm tired of pretending.

I'm tired of fighting the urges to cut myself deep.

Or even hang me.


I thought that I'm getting better.

Silly me, thinking that I'll be okay. 


Every day I keep wondering if I could turn back time.

How I wish I never pushed you away from me when I'm not okay.

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