Chapter : Where do we go now?

It’s April and this is my first post for this year.
I’ve been away for almost 7 months and now I’m back. 

Before 2024 starts, 
I reconsidered to give life another chance. I don’t know if that’s what I truly wanted but I promised my friends that I would try again. And so I did. 

It’s challenging to be honest.

Well, life isn’t supposed to be easy. I know that. 

Two or three weeks ago, I had a major relapse. The second time I relapse this year. One was in January. And the second time was in March. 

Ever since my first relapse in January, I barely recognised myself. I felt numb. I started to forget things and it affects my work. I um became a workaholic which was worse for me. 

I didn’t get the rest that I needed. That’s when I have countless near death encounters. Especially when I drive to work.

I stop talking to my friends. 

I pushed people away.

That’s what I do when I’m not okay. 

I know I should ask for help. I know that it’s okay for wanting help but I was ignorant.

I thought that it was for the best. That I shouldn’t burden my friends with my mental problem.

And so I ran. I ignored my reality. 

I was in denial. 


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