Np : Too Sad To Cry



Every day I wake up thinking that why I haven't die yet.
For the whole day I just need to fake everything
So I am trying to be okay despite was being suicidal everytime.

I feel bad for being mentally ill.
I feel sorry to both my parents because having their daughter that wanting to die.
I feel sorry to my friends because I coudn't be the happy me like I used to be.

I feel bad for reaching out to my friends,
I just can't stop crying 
The numbness, the emptiness.
I hate it.

To mom,
I'm sorry.
I decided not to tell you anymore.
You don't need to worry about me anymore.
Just know that I will be alright.

It's okay.
Le me carry all the pain alone.
I deserve this.

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