Being Me



I hate being myself.
I hate myself more than people ever do.

I just can't continue my life. It hurts so much and affect my life. I don't even know who I really am. I'm not like I used to be. Everyday hurts me damn much. I just want these pains to stop. Please make it stop. 

I feel very exhausted because of my unstable mental health. I want to sleep but it's hard until I have to depend on sleeping pills. Geez. 

Lately I am in my depressive episodes. Almost a week I guess? But yeah, nobody realised it because I don't want to burden anyone else. Not my mom at least.

Thought of getting better, but it just a lie actually. Telling myself that one day I will be okay but the fact I am nowhere near getting any better.

I feel so sorry to those who is in my circle. I only make the worry. 

AJ,
You don't have to be there for me. You don't have to.

Atria,
I'm still carry on with my life. At least for now.

Polaris,
I guess I changed into someone I don't even know.


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