FRIENDSHIP

I guess I keep depend on my friends. To be honest, I don't really have much friends in real life. I do have friends but not quite close that I can count on them every time when I need someone.

But I do have friends that I only met through social medias. There's Alnilam, Polaris, Atria. I gave them names tho because it fits them personally. It has been years I have known them. I met Atria once back in 2019. Perhaps there will be the time that I will meet Alnilam and Polaris. Eventually.

I have known AJ also through social media and he's been a good friend to me and inspire me to keep on surviving with the mental illness that I have.

Not to forget, when people doesn't show up, Jaja (Am) and Irzd will show up. They never left in the first place. Always watching out for me. I hope one day I can follow them, Leaving this shit mess place.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter : Where do we go now?

It’s April and this is my first post for this year. I’ve been away for almost 7 months and now I’m back.  Before 2024 starts,  I reconsidered to give life another chance. I don’t know if that’s what I truly wanted but I promised my friends that I would try again. And so I did.  It’s challenging to be honest. Well, life isn’t supposed to be easy. I know that.  Two or three weeks ago, I had a major relapse. The second time I relapse this year. One was in January. And the second time was in March.  Ever since my first relapse in January, I barely recognised myself. I felt numb. I started to forget things and it affects my work. I um became a workaholic which was worse for me.  I didn’t get the rest that I needed. That’s when I have countless near death encounters. Especially when I drive to work. I stop talking to my friends.  I pushed people away. That’s what I do when I’m not okay.  I know I should ask for help. I know that it’s okay for wanting help but I was ignorant. I thought that i
Read more

Loss & Grieving

Hey Siri, please play How Do I Say Goodbye by Dean Lewis.   I still remember the first time I lost a family member. I was six at that time and I lost my baby brother. I didn’t know what grief is like. I asked my mother, where is he going and she replied, “he’s going to your grandma.”   I just nodded, pretend like I understand what she said. I was just six.   When I was eight, I lost my paternal grandma. I still remember my mother had a call from my aunt saying that my grandma is dead. We departed at midnight and the journey took us almost 8 hours. I was only eight. I still didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t go to her funeral. I didn’t even get the chance to see her. I was eight and I’m still don’t know what grief and loss is.   And when I was nine, I lost my maternal grandpa. I was nine and I somehow, I the feeling of losing your family member. When he’s gone, I have this void and I figured it must be grieving. I was there when he was dying. I was there during his
Read more