January

Who would have thought that I would still be here. Facing another normal day in 2022. Should counted that as a blessing. For still being here. Alive. oh well.

Somehow I still miss 2014, 2015 and 2019. But no matter how much I miss what happened in those year, I just can't urn back time. That's not how time works, right? 

I don't know why I'm writing this post. Perhaps it just another random thought. Or perhaps this is the only safe place that I could think of to write something for the people that I care but never have the gut to confront them.

Shall we start?

To my dearest El,

You're still my friend although we stop talking and lost in touch. You're still my Polaris star no matter what. I do miss you and I'm sorry if I was a bad friend to you. I still hope that we could meet no matter how long it takes. Wherever you are, I sure know that you're okay. Because you're freaking El. I know you will achieve your dream and you will be the better person and people are just lucky for knowing you.

My sweet Al,

I wrote back your message on a paper and pin it on my board so that I could look at it everyday. I still remember the good old days that we have. The ones that I could never forget. Now, I'm trying my best to complete Ethereal's manuscript. Oh ya, I was stargazing the other day and I saw Orion constellation and I saw Alnilam star. it reminds me no matter how far the distance, I know we will always be friends even though with the minimal contact. It's okay. I still love you. So does Irzd. He's been take care of me for few weeks  now. Keeping me safe and comforts me. He keeps remind me that one day we will meet you again.

For the one I called Atria,

You've been a good friend indeed. You didn't back down when I push you away every time I relapsed. I'm grateful for that. Hope that we will have another adventure together.

The one that lost, AJ,

I hope you're okay. I hope you're know what you doing. I hope you're stronger each day. Thank you for making my 2019 better a bit. 



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