Running Away

I’ve been running away from my problems ever since my last encounter with AJ. I ignored all the pain that I feel. I act like I didn’t care. I act like I have moved on from the past.

But am I though?

I have been tuning out the pain because I just don’t want to feel it all over again. What I don’t know is that the feeling will keep coming to me. Keep resurfacing and till one point that I started to drown in it. 

I kept crying every night. 

I wanna be mad. I wanna punch him till I feel okay. I wanna scream out loud. I wanna blame him for the misery i have been through. I wanna blame myself for being such a fool. I just wanna cry because it hurts so much.

I chose to stop writing poems about him just because I wanna prove to my friend that I’m done with him. But deep inside, I don’t think I can really move on and forget everything.

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